From Mama
John J. Hagen
May 13, 2012 - Induction Day 48
Dear John,
Being a mother is a gift. Being your mother is a blessing!
There are many words I could use to describe you; beautiful, kind, loving, brave, courageous … the list could go on and on. I stand and look at you in amazement. I look at you and I see God’s Grace and I am reminded that every minute of every day with you is a blessing.
As your mother my job is to make everything okay, to fix everything that is broken and protect you from life’s evils. As your mother I wish I could take away your sadness, your pain and your suffering but I can’t. It breaks my heart that I can’t. But, as your mother I CAN hold you when you need to be held, listen when you need to be heard, wipe your tears from your face and stand with you in this journey. I will fight with you and we will beat this together!
You have made me a better person. You have made me a better mother. You have taught me to celebrate all of the joys that you bring to my life; the kindness of your smile, the sound of your voice, the feel of your arms wrapped around me, and the warmth of your fingers draped over mine. Those are the moments that make being your mother amazing. Those are the moments that fill my heart with your love.
Thank you for blessing me with your love.
I love you so very much.
Mama
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Dear Bella,
Loving you is gift from heaven. Having you as my daughter is a true blessing.
I am so proud to be your mother. You are everything I hoped you would be and so much more. You have a beautiful heart and a loving spirit. Even at 13 you have showed amazing courage and strength. You have seen a side of life that is heartbreaking and instead of pulling away you’ve reach out with even more love and compassion than ever before. Your unconditional love is inspirational.
So much in our lives has changed over the past 2 months but one thing that will never change is the love that I have for you. Now more than I ever I will appreciate all the loving moments you share with me; a hug, a kiss, a story about your day (I’m even grateful for emails and texts :)).
I wish I were with you today, on Mother’s Day. I wish I could feel your amazing hugs and tell you how much I love you (in persone). But, soon we’ll be together and I’ll cover with you love!
I love you so much.
Thank you for your heavenly love.
Mama
Update: John’s body is showing signs of recovery. His counts are creeping up steadily. Dr. Pui is anticipating MRD testing early next week (we’ll Tweet the date when we have a definitive day). We continue to pray that God will hear our prayers and Rich and I will hear the words we have been desperately waiting to hear, negative MRD. While we wait for his bone marrow results, John will immediately begin Phase 2 (2 months: high dose Methotrexate (MTX) chemotherapy administered every 14 days). These treatments will be inpatient treatments, due to potential toxicity. He will need to be monitored closely and stay at St. Jude until they can verify that his body is able to clear the treatment. Then, we will be discharged and be allowed to come HOME! Yes, we are bringing John HOME. It will only be for around a week or so but he needs to be in his home! We are excited about being reunited with Bella and being together as a family. Hopefully we’ll be able to travel back and forth to and from Memphis during the summer. If his blood counts allow he may be able to visit with friends! Yay!
Please continue to pray for John’s healing and cure. Pray that he doesn’t endure pain and suffering from his treatments. Pray that I will be blessed with a lifetime of Mother’s Days with John.
Love,
Kathy
Reader Comments (8)
John and Bella are so fortunate to have you as a mother. Your unconditional love shows with each an every word you write. Happy Mother's Day to you Kathy.
With thoughts and prayers
Beth Otis
Every single word that you have written my darling Kathy brings joy to heart. I am so proud of you. As the years go by you will be an inspiration to hundreds of other families. John and Isabella are truly Blessed to have you as their mother. And to have Rich is an incredible gift to you and your children. You are a strong family. I pray all day long and even when I am asleep.
We are all waiting for the test.......and we will continue to pray. love your , mother...........
Happy Mother's Day Kathy! I know this is certainly not where you ever imagined yourself to be but I am so proud of the strength you have shown. You are a Great mother. I am praying for your entire family everyday.
Happy Mother's Day! I wish you would have received the negative MRD results before today so that you could have enjoyed today more, but those results will come soon and you can then maybe breathe a sigh of relief. Your words are beautiful and embrace the true meaning of Mother's Day. Stay strong and give John a hug from us all.
Cheryl
Kathy,
Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Thank you for taking the time to remind all of us how precious out time is with our children. Kathy,You have a special gift of writing. It is helping people you may not have known needed help. In the midst of suffering, God uses others to help us get through the pain. You have received this grace, but I think you are helping others as well. I will never fully understand what you all are going through, but I will continue to lift up prayer several times a day for John. He Will Beat this!!!!
I love you,
Suzy
Dear Kathy,
As I said in my text, witnessing your grace throughout John's journey has definitely given Mother's Day a whole new meaning this year. John could not have anyone better to wipe his tears and walk this path with him. You amaze me every day with your faith and courage. We continue to pray for John all the time and look forward to rejoicing in his healing with you, Rich, Isabella and the rest of your family.
XO,
Kelly
Kathy,
Today, written in church were the words, "Thank you for being a Godly mother."
I immediately thought of you. John and Bella are blessed to have a strong, beautiful mom.
You are a true inspiration.
Kathy Happy Mother's Day!
Thank you for such beautifully written words! You are truly a Proverbs 31 woman!
We continue to pray~ We look forward to Johns Homecoming !
The Harrisons